I said to someone just yesterday…”If only we could go back 5 years and enjoy the moments just a little more…”

These would be the moments when my husband, Jeff and I had brighter eyes and a genuine smile.

The moments when we didn’t have to think about suicide, mental health or what life is like when you lose a child and her being 33 Forever.

The moments when we could love on and play with our littles without the distraction in our mind of grief, pain and fear trying to take over every minute.

The moments when we didn’t have to look for a bluejay, rainbows, butterfly, hummingbird or wind chimes to know our daughter is still with us in our daily life.

The moments when being a 33forevermom wasn’t a constant in my psyche, well aware that that number could change again in a moment.

The moments when the only care we had was the stress of the Buckeyes upcoming game and not the prayer and hope that a medicine will be found to work and heal.

The moments we could spend with our family laughing and sharing good times and good health and not constantly praying in our hearts for our family and how they will walk through the hardest days of their lives because of an unfair and unexpected health challenge that is completely rocking their world.

The moments when our dear family and life moved on so effortlessly that we believed tomorrow would always be the same yet knowing it could all change in an instant.

Change it did. In a moment.

Love on your people and be present in every situation. They are your world but, your world may be rocked one day.

And for my husband and I, the Rock we are thankful and blessed to stand on may be the the only thing holding us together during our hardest days.

For Him I am thankful.

For Him I know the pain will someday end.

For Him I know my girl is flying high with His peace and joy.

I know we question the pain and journey we are living right now, but, if not For Him, I know I could never survive.

And that is how I get through until tomorrow.