After hours of praying and pacing you’ve just experienced one of the BEST DAYS EVER-the joyful news of the birth of your beautiful and precious grandchild.

You’re reeling with so much love and joy that this little one’s arrival has once again taken your breath away.

There is unending chatter and excitement in your family as you share photos, texts, videos, messages, hopes, dreams and opinions of this tiny person who has happily burst into your world and dominated the conversations.

A perfect and beautiful little baby was born into your family without any complications and you are simply over the moon to be able to share this God given miracle with the world!

And you do….

Imagine this:

You’re sleeping peacefully after an exhilarating day when the phone rings, 25 hours later, with unfathomable news making this next day the WORST DAY EVER- you are “regretfully informed” of the death of your very own child at 33 years of age.

You’re reeling with so much excruciating pain and horror over her death that you literally cannot breathe.

There are no words to describe this brutal moment to your family. You’re trapped in a nightmare that just robbed all of you of your hopes, dreams and future with your incredibly amazing child, but you must somehow find the words that will destroy their life in unimaginable ways.

Your own extraordinary life-changing miracle given to you as a tiny bundle of love 33 years ago has ended her life. You are, quite frankly, going through hell as you begin the inconceivable task of sharing this cruel reality with the world.

And you must…

Imagine this:

Five years later, after surviving moments of such terror and pain you never believed a heart could handle, you’re still standing.

Five years later, your strong faith which went through a myriad of ups and downs as memories tormented your sleep and invaded your mind, still comforts you and gives you peace.

Five years later, after sharing your story, meeting others with similar experiences, fighting stigma and helping loved ones live one moment at a time, you’re still believing there is hope.

Five years later, still missing my child more than words can express, look at this broken hearted mom and remember: if I can battle through this horrific unasked for journey and still hear her laugh, remember all the joy she brought to every single person she met, and can find beauty around me without her by my side, so can you.

And you will…