She may have had a crush on him from the very first time he took her home from practice. She would waltz in the door all bubbly and smiling, and, instead of telling me about her swim team achievements, she proceeded to share what fun the car ride home from practice had been.

She was young and giggly, excited to be part of a team and loved getting to know her new friends. She found out how much she loved swimming and even realized she was pretty good at it. It became a year round sport for Danielle and, as the saying goes, “It takes a village…”. Having four children of my own, a spouse who worked crazy shifts and all of the kids going in different directions, our car pool, for that season, became a lifesaver for me.

These rides home from swim practice, in Dani’s opinion, all seemed to center around the driver, a handsome dad of one of the swimmers. He was the one with an incredible sense of humor and a charming way to make every one of these kids feel special. After a hard workout, he made certain they had a snack and a smile before he dropped them off at their respective homes. This dad greeted them after practice with a twinkle in his eye and a “dad” joke ready to share. He made them all laugh and carry on all the way home and always let them out of the car with a grin and renewed energy to finish the evening with a positive attitude.

I, on the other hand, was the mom who picked these kiddos up after school, making sure they had eaten a snack and packed their towels, goggles and swimsuits. I coerced them away from their bowl of cereal and after school tv show, to hustle into the mini van, finding myself quite task oriented all the while asking questions and encouraging conversations about their school day. I enjoyed driving them and listening to their stories but often became distracted as my nap deprived and grumpy 2 year daughter argued as to who she would “allow” to sit next to her in the middle seat. Looking back I longed to make memories of the simplest of activities, but I soon recognized the moments he made with them frankly became more memorable.

How did I know this? I mean it was “just a car ride” right? Not a competition. But when we reminisced about these drives, the reality was that I simply “took them to practice” and he was the one they couldn’t wait to see and hop in the car after, anticipating all the while his silly jokes and stories. There were, of course, other parents who helped us in this car pool, but their car rides also paled in comparison to his.

Dani was a pleasant 9 year old, brown hair bleached blonde from the chlorine, and craved spending time with her swim team. Her friendship in particular with his daughter was blossoming. They had sleepovers, make up parties and went to swim meets together. Although they were in different grades, their similarities and zest for living and laughing drew them together every chance they had. Those days were so special watching our daughters grow a relationship, a love for each other and a passion for swimming.

The most infamous story of these two girls revolves around a five day summer swim camp they attended at The Ohio State University Campus. They attended several camps but this one left a mark! Once again we car pooled to the camp and on the 4th night we each got a surprise phone call from our daughters. This was not an era of cell phones so they had to find a phone, find a quarter and call us at home. They had a reason, we were told, yet their “request” was beyond inappropriate and out of the question. Where it came from, we never knew, but the girls each called to tell us we needed to “pretend” we were married when we picked them up because they “told everyone at the camp all week they were step sisters!” I was so angry, embarrassed and taken back that I could not see straight! This “dad” and I were each married to their other parent and I was not the slightest bit amused by this phone call. Frankly, neither was Dani’s friends father. I vividly remember calling him with a shaky voice to apologize for my daughters awful suggestion. “I know it was Danielle who came up with the idea, so please forgive her.” “No, no, it was MY daughter,” he said. “You don’t know her and that is something she would absolutely come up with.” We tried to laugh it off but it made us both extremely uncomfortable and shocked that they would go so far as to lie at camp about their relationship when they were, in fact NOT step sisters. They had to know we would never agree to such an idea. (Think “Parent Trap.”). In retrospect I believe the fantasy from Dani’s part may have come from the way she adored this man, watched him be a father to his daughters, and loved the idea of having someone so much like her and so close in age, be her new sister.

Time passed, we still car pooled but eventually our lives took a turn, as they often do, and winter swim team days for Danielle came to an end. The girls stayed friends and never once did they bring that story up and, I’m certain, never believed their lives would change so drastically. Could this fabrication they created in their little 9 and 10 year old minds somehow become a premonition for their future? Our future?

You see, this charming man who gave my girl the “car rides” home from practice nearly 30 years ago is Jeff, my best friend and husband of 22 years! Sara, Jeffs oldest daughter is the one my toddler, Alex, did not particularly want to sit near during those car rides. Miraculously, through the grace of God and fighting the hardest days of our entire lives thus far, we somehow found each other and fell madly in love. Our two daughters, Dani and Sara, claimed it was simply because of that one summer swim camp that made our fairytale life come to pass. We obviously allowed them to take the credit. After all, in January of 2002, Dani had a new stepdad and a new sister (or two).

Years later the girls version of this story resurrected when Sara went away to college. Sara was working at the gym on her college campus and a familiar face sees her, stops and says, “Hi Sara, do you remember me from OSU swim camp? I was your roommate!” The recognition was immediate but the follow up question took her by surprise. “So how is your sister, Dani?”

“She’s great,” Sara replied matter of factly. In our blended family we rarely use the word “step” to describe sibling or parental relationships. They are brothers and sisters and we are one family. As the light bulb went off in Sara’s head, she began to laugh and told Natalie, one step at a time, the real story of how her sister, Dani came into her world.